Hello D.C.! I’m Back!!!!!

I once heard this great saying that described how I felt about my best friend. The saying goes: Best friends are people God forgot to make your brothers and sisters.
   Not trying to say that God f*cked up or anything, just saying the day that he created me and Daniella, he must have gotten a “little” exhausted. No worries though, our paths crossed anyway and we’ve been walking alongside each other ever since. After the George incident (we still keep in contact by the way), me and Daniella decided to jump back into the party pool since we’re now single at the exact same time. The last time we went to the club with each other was almost 6 years ago after we first graduated high school. That’s a long ass time not to be partying with your sister too! So when we decide to go out we don’t just do our “own” thing and meet later, we do “our” thing together, all damn day long. We call this thing we do the “Sister Date.” We start by getting our nails and feet done at “our” spa where the Asian ladies ask if we’re sisters because we look alike. It’s funny that we look alike because I’m a southern gal with my mother being part of the Geechee/Gullah community and my best friend is a beautiful blend of the Motherland and the Orient, it must be our cheek bones……lol.
  
 After we’ve gotten freshly manicured we make our next stop at the mall. We don’t need to buy anything, but have the means to afford it, and what me and my sister Daniella want, we get. H&M is our store, and we do major wreckage there. She picked up a sexy dress and some work pants, her style is somewhat conservative yet sexy and sleek. Daniella can look work ready professional during work hours, cocktail ready in the evenings, sweetheart demure during lunch time on the weekend, or the girl next door that’s down for anything. What’s my style? I can almost do the same thing except I like to add a little sex to into all my looks. My professional look is crisp and tailored with that “don’t come at me with bullshit” look but don’t get it twisted, I’m probably having sex with my hot boss behind closed doors. During the weekend, I like the bohemian look with big sun hats and long dresses but don’t let that fool you, I’m not wearing any underwear underneath for easy access. When we go out for cocktails my style icons are Victoria Beckham, Sophia Loren, and Zoe Saldana. I may look intimidating and to a fault, I am. No time for bullshit, I’ll probably hit on a guy before he hits on me, not out of desperation, but because I want what I want and life is too short for pussyfootin’ around. After we get some outfits for the night we go home and start pampering ourselves for the evening. We shoot to leave at 9 but don’t end up getting into the city until after 10. It’s all good though, the party doesn’t start until Daniella and I walk through the doors. 
  
 We decided to stay in Georgetown this evening, and went back to my spot Bodega for some pregaming drinks. Again, I must say get the Mojitos or the Sangrias. It’s a nice spot for good conversation and a nice drink or two. Just as I was going to settle up the tab (that’s right, these girls take turns paying the tab) at the bar this guy looks at me and greets me with an “Hola.” So, me, digging up my Spanish from high school reply the same way I was greeted. His name, Maynor and offers to buy me a drink. Now I accept this offer only if he buys my sister a drink too. That’s how we roll. You wanna get in good with one you gotta get in with other first. So he bought both of us drink and got my number out of it. After the drink, we left Bodega and started up to Modern only we noticed music bumping over at Old Glory. If you want some good wings, this is one of the top spots to get wings that blow your asshole out. I’ve met the amazing chef, Chef Richard, cool guy and the hospitality is amazing! We went in because the bouncers wanted to holler and we wanted to see the eye candy. It was alright, we got stamped so we’d be back if Modern wasn’t on point. Now, if you want to party party, then Georgetown isn’t the place for you. It’s normally packed with bars and students from Georgetown, GW and American looking to get drunk quick. So if you want to get dressed up for nightclubing leave Georgetown out of the equation. Modern is small yet hip. It’s like partying in an underground basement. On Fridays they have a password that you can use to get in free with until Midnight. The music was great but the eye candy that night was less than spectacular. A negative to Modern, it was so damn hot in there I was sweatin’ like a fat person outside of Krispy Kreme Doughnuts. Just when we were about to break down and buy our own drink (we have rule when we go out, we only buy 2 starter drinks that night, the rest of the evening we get other men to spend their money on us) we ran into this group of guys who started chatting us up. Two black guys, one Indian dude, and an older white male. The older white male won hands down in the looks department although he was probably old enough to be me and Daniella’s dad. The Indian guy approached me and wanted to introduce me to his friend, one of the black gentlemen. Now I’m not saying that I don’t like my black brothas but what annoys me is that the Indian guy just hooks us up just because we’re both black! Yeah, his friend was nice but I’m a visual being, dude looked like Dave Chappelle…..not a good look homie. Daniella made out alright though, she chatted up with the older white guy and they exchanged numbers and we got a drink out of it. Yes girl!!!!! That night I took a grenade, at least I got to drink out of it. After they chatted it up and I had a nice dance on the floor we walked back down to Old Glory to end the night. Side bar to all the ladies, if you love wearing “f*ck me pumps” walking on M Street in Georgetown is not the thing for you. We damn near broke our necks trying to get down to Old Glory. The bouncers were waiting for us to come back, they both were as big as milk duds and the light skinned one wanted my sister. Go head, girl you take that grenade! He bought me a shot and she gave him her number, I knew she didn’t want to but hey, sometimes you must take one for the team! As the night came to a close we had some fun moments and some that were a bust but what remained was that I was out with my sister and no matter where we are, we always have a bitchin’ time. With the night was almost over, you can’t end the night without getting unhealthy food at 3 in morning. We called our best male friend who was Deejaying close by, JB, to meet up with us and finish the night off with scrambled eggs, hash brown and pancakes from IHOP. Great night, now it’s time to get my rocks off and see Jo…….I’m single and I need a fix now!
2010
06/04
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Friendship
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Just Getting My Feet Wet (cont’d)

I called her on the verge of pure tears. Here I was, freshly broken up from Nathan with my hair done, new shoes on my feet and a sexy outfit to boot with tears all welled up in my eyes on the sidewalk of M Street in Georgetown. If anyone could calm my spirits down Daniella could. “Awwww honey, I knew you weren’t ready yet, come on home back this way. You need your rest.” she said. I knew that she was probably right but I didn’t want this guy to win, I wanted to go out and have my fun too. After thinking for about 5 minutes with  mascara running down my face I decided that it was time to take my happy ass back in my car and go home. I popped in my iPod and started to play some Donny Hathaway, when I’m down, Donny picks me up (even though I’m pretty sure he committed suicide by jumping off a building…..but anyway). As soon as I was about to leave M Street that’s when my phone started to vibrate.

“Hey! I hope you’re not gone yet! I’m soooooo sorry, my phone was dead and I had one of my co-workers drop me off at my rental car so I could plug up my phone and call you!”

 It was George. I replied “I’m still here, I was about to leave though.”

I was hot, but rule of thumb ladies, never let ’em see you sweat.

George answered back, “I’m so sorry! I hope you stay put. I don’t care where you wanna go, I just want to sit down and talk more with you. You pick the place, it’s whatever you want!”

Whatever I want? Oh hell yes, anyone who knows me knows that The District Chick never turns down anything free. Hell, if they were given out free babies I’d probably take one too. I told him to meet me at this nice spot right on M Street called MieNyu. It’s like a Asian/Indian fusion restaurant. One of the many hotspots in Georgetown….and a bit pricey but hell, I’m worth it. I find a parking spot and wait for him, not long because if he has my ass waiting long again I’m going to throw his narrow boney white ass in the Potomac. Five minutes later he calls and we meet in front of the restaurant but to our surprise they had closed early. Thinking fast we ran across the street to this cozy little Spanish tapas lounge called Bodega. As a matter of a fact, I frequent there often now. Inside it gives this gothic yet chic look. It was dark yet intimate. Not big but just enough space for you and yours. We grabbed a seat and he said those magic words that make any girl cum anytime they’re said “Order whatever you want.” Hell yeah! If you ever go, the pomagrante martini is the truth but they are also known for their Sangrias which make you want to slap the person in the face you’re closest to. George was looking ever so sexy. He’s a bit on the nerdy side but cute. Very “euro” style and isn’t aware of his own attractiveness, I was though. We talked, flirted, he kissed my ass some more (as he should have), apologized profusely, flirted some more and 6 drinks later we were walking down the street to the other part of M  underneath the bridge (near Sequoia) hand in hand. The D.C. skyline was beautiful next to the Potomac River so we found a bench near the water and plopped our butts down. The breeze brushed up against our faces, the lighting was just right, and you could see Crystal City so clear from where we were. We chatted about me possibly coming to visit in either N.Y. (which I was going to go there anyway w/without him) or Chicago (hell no! that’s the #1 deadliest city in America now, more casualities than Iraq and Afghanistan combined….something is wrong with that). After talking in deep conversation about everything we could possibly think of that’s when he looked at me and said “You’re beautiful.” I’m like, I know (I may not seem like the most humble person in the world but shit, I do look good!) and that’s when he leaned in and we kissed. It was wonderful, it felt genuine, it was just nice to be treated like the woman I deserved to be. Yes, in the back of my head I was kind of thinking about Nathan but at that moment………screw him! The District Chick is handling her business! We kissed for at least an hour and I even let him stroke my hair! Yes, that’s saying alot considering I’m a black woman and you know how we are about our hair! I don’t care if my hair IS natural, it’s still a black woman’s head of hair! Later that night, we ended up back at the hotel I work for where we said our goodbyes and ended with a kiss. George didn’t want to leave. I didn’t want him to go. He said “God, I wish I had more time to spend with you, we’ll keep in touch though, right?” Hell yes I thought, I need more hoes in different area codes….. I’m just kidding. Honesty, I was equally mushy too. I replied “I know, but you’ll be back, I’ll miss you….,” “I’ll miss you too.” he replied. We kissed one last time and it was the sweetest rebound I’ve ever had. Who knows what will happen between me and George. He still calls and text me, he’ll be back and I’ll definitely be seeing him. I needed that, he took my mind of my crazy world, even if it was just for a couple of hours. The District Chick got her feet wet….just a little, but be prepared because with the stories about to come and all the upcoming events that have gone in D.C. so far, I’ve been taking a dip, or two, or three, hell I’ve been diving in this past month! Stay tuned.  

2010
06/04
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Just Getting My Feet Wet

    
 It was a couple of days later and still no word from Nate. I was working a lot to keep my mind off of things and it was working, for now. One specific day at work, myself and a co-worker, Naomi, were supposed to have one hell of a day. Apparently we were working a party for singles in the D.M.V. area so there was no way we were getting off early. I work for a hip hotel so people are always throwing events, but I didn’t really feel like serving people that day. I’m happy I did though. The people were cool, an older crowd, and we made a lot of money (new shoes on feet tomorrow!). After slinging drinks every which way the night was slowly coming to an end and that’s when I saw him. This guy about 6’1 approached the bar, Naomi served him, apparently he had been there all night but I was so busy that I didn’t notice him. He had an olive complexion, dark hair, and beautiful smile. I thought the best approach would to be to pretend that I was cleaning the area then ease my way into conversation, it worked. George was his name, he was staying at the hotel on business, 26 years old, family was from Greece (which explained the nose), and from both Chicago and New York. We talked into the wee hours of the morning, I couldn’t believe that I was still at my job 5 hours after I had shut my bar down but he was great company. Before we left each other he asked if I would meet him up in the city for drinks and more conversation after his business meetings. Uh, duh! Of course I was. We exchanged numbers and I left home feeling great. I got my mojo back! 
    The next morning I had awakened to texts from George and was excited about our evening date in D.C. It’s been awhile since I’d been out of commission so I was going to look damn good! As the day went on the texts back and forth increased and before I knew it the time had come for me to step out looking sexay! I was looking great, but not like I tried too hard. Just sexy enough that he knew I was a catch. As I was driving into the city I texted to let him know I was near by. No answer. When I approached New York Ave. I called and it went straight to voicemail. I didn’t want to worry so I decided to head into Georgetown. I figure he was just finishing up his business dinner and he would call once I got into the area. After I reached Georgetown there was still no answer and that’s when I had to call my best friend/sister Daniella because I was about to have a serious melt down….
2010
06/04
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New Beginnings. . . . Pt. 2

I utter that infamous word that I have now damned to hell………….”Bingo.” We both stop, breathing hard knowing all to well what was going to happen. I knew in that moment that I had to end my relationship with Nate, not because I wanted to have hot, passionate, steamy sex with Jo, but because I had allowed myself to be in that situation. I could have cheated all the way but that wasn’t me. Was I disappointed in how our relationship was coming to an end? Yes. Did I want to take Jo and do all the pent up naughty things that I’ve been missing for months? Hell yes! Could I have walked around guilt free and still lived in denial about my relationship? No. So after Jo and I got ourselves together we left the lakeside and headed back to our cars. As we kissed goodbye he leaned over and whispered in my ear ” Damn safety word!” I laughed but it was okay, I knew that we would see each other again and when we would, I was going to make that man climb walls. 

    The next morning I felt so bad. I’m a communicator and often put myself in other’s shoes. Guilt flowed over me and I didn’t know how I was going to end this relationship. So I get up and call Nate. Nothing. I get out of bed and shower and brush my teeth, then call Nate again. No answer. I go downstairs and eat some breakfast, afterward I call Nate. Again no answer. I’m trying to get ahold of him before I go to work in the afternoon and just a little after 1pm he calls.
 “Hey babe, I saw that you called.”
 I reply, “Yeah, how long have you been up?”
Nate answers, “Since 8 a.m.”
I get a bit flustered now, “Well we haven’t seen each other in about a week and a half, you don’t want to spend a little bit of time with me before I go to work?”
 Nate replies, “I would but my friend Don wants me to go running with him. He’s got a fight coming up so I’m going to help him train. Love you though and I’ll talk to you later.”
That was it. I knew that it was over after that conversation. That was Nate’s last time putting me on the backburner. I was fed up with the petty arguments where I always caved in, I was tired of the dirtiness that he brought during these arguments where he deliberately tried to hurt my feelings, I was tired of not being a priority and being treated like a second rate citizen, and I wanted to feel like the woman I knew that I was. I still loved Nate, I just wasn’t in love with him anymore.
    
The next two days I tried my hardest to see him. I don’t like doing things over the phone, I’m too old for that. But he took me to that level. Tuesday evening I finally got ahold of him after we were supposed to get together 7 hours before. He picked up the phone sounding half asleep.
I say “Nate were you sleepin?”
He replies in that half asleep but trying to be cute voice because he knows he screwed me over, “Baaabbbbyyyy, I  wanna see you………..”
I’m just pissed and officially over it now, “You know what Nate, I’m just so tired of this shit now!”
After that comment the man that I’ve been with for almost 2 years magically “wakes up” from his nap and replies “Fuck this! I don’t wanna hear this shit anymore! I’m taking my ass back to bed!”
Then I finish it with this statement, “You know what Nate? You never wanna hear it but you don’t have to worry anymore because I’m through with this bullshit! I’m not happy, you don’t like to hear me voice my opinions and I’m done with this! I’m done with you!”
This man who said that he wanted to spend twenty plus years and so on and so forth told me
“Fuck it and he doesn’t give a fuck.”
 And that was the beginning of my awakening. That was all I needed, I wanted to be cordial and separate amicably but things don’t always go the way you want them to. I was hurt but I wasn’t giving in. Not this time, too many tears and emotions into this relationship. That moment a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. All the toxicity had been eliminated. I’m not going to lie, it seems like it was quick and easy but that decision was a back and forth mind game that came to an abrupt ending because of selfishness and not being appreciative. But I’m here, and I’m still standing. The beast has been unleashed. I’ve been out of commission but now I’m back. My city has been waiting for me and it’s time that I show the nation’s capitol that the The District Chick is back. How shall I get my feet wet though? Funny story, my mother always says in order to get over a new man, get under a new one. Jo will do…………………….for now.  Until then, it’s time to call the girls, D.C. awaits! The District Chick has been resurrected.
2010
06/04
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New Beginnings. . . . Pt. 1

How did I get to this crossroad where I knew I going to be single? For most of us, we know the point where things are getting bad, it’s just a matter of how long we will allow it to fester until we do something about the issue. My ex now and I were going through the motions since the beginning of 2010. It’s like that with new relationships, the first year is great, the second is always the hardest. Either you’re in it to win it or it’s time to let that ship pass. Petty arguments, unappreciativness (I know it’s not a word), and comparisons to the other people were building and it was a matter of time before I knew I was going to snap.

This year happened to be the last semester I was finishing up college so you can just imagine all the work I was doing. I thought “he” or let’s just call him Nathan would be understanding. No. Instead I was made to feel guilty about my aspirations and I was trying to do everything to get my relationship off of life support. Then there was that faithful day on April 3rd when the sh*t hit the fan. Nathan had been drinking and became belligerent with me. He grabbed my arm and gave me this look like Ike gave Tina the first time he laid his hands on her and I knew in my heart that I had to get my a** out of this situation. Only thing was, I didn’t know how. Insiders looking in would say it’s easy to walk away but when you’re actually in it, you don’t know what to do. I was confused because I’ve talked a great game years before how this situation would never be me yet I was living it. Thank the Lord he didn’t slap me or anything because I think I would’ve stabbed him. The final month after the incident I knew that we were not going to last.

   The weeks that followed were the worst. I was trying to balance school, work and a needy boyfriend but it seemed never enough. When we were out with friends you could cut the tension between us with a knife. When I was asked how I was doing, I would lie, but everyone knew that I wasn’t happy. Nathan is the oldest of 5 and the only boy so his family looked to him for many things (Asian culture). What really pissed me off most about our situation was him bringing other people, namely his sisters, into our drama. As a communications person I feel that if you have a problem you should deal with it with your significant other instead of your younger sisters who have yet to live life, have illegitimate children running around, and are practically ill-equipped with life lessons. He didn’t see it that way and yet another problem was there.

About late April situations kept piling up and I knew in my heart I was coming to my wits end. That’s when I got a message from a guy, Jo, that I used to see a couple of years ago. This man was something else. I didn’t want to take myself there because I was in a committed relationship but it’s hard not to let your mind go when you were as unhappy as myself. We texted here and there but I wouldn’t see him because I was trying to do the right thing. The last week of my relationship was the hardest. I’d been trying to see Nathan every day of that week but I wasn’t a priority for him. Resentment started to build. He would call me on the phone with the “Baby I love you…” and “Baby I miss you” and “When are we going to see each other?” I kind of felt in my heart he knew I slowly coming to my senses.

   May 1st is when I realized I just couldn’t do it anymore. Jo had texted me about grabbing a drink after I finished bartending and I agreed. Nathan wasn’t picking up his phone and by then I was over it. I knew what I was getting myself into and I was ready. I met up with Jo and all of those old feelings came back. I had recently cut my hair to go natural and my boyfriend Nathan hated it, but when Jo saw me I received a different reaction. I was welcomed with praise, “Oh my gosh, you’re gorgeous!” and “I like this better than anything you’ve ever done to your hair!” That moment, it was nice to be admired and appreciated like a woman should be. We ended up not going to get drinks but taking a moonlit stroll around this lake in the Laurel area. It was dark but he could see me and I could see him. Jo was just as I remembered. He stood about 5’8, slim but with an athletic build, dark thick hair that moved with ease from the gust of wind, perfect smooth creamy skin, and these eyes that stare you down like no other sexy Latino eyes could. We sat next to each other on this rock bench and talked about everything under the sun. We talked about what we had been doing over the last couple of years, things we wanted to do, people we had been with, how we missed each others company, how good I looked, how good he looked, everything. As the hours went by the closer we got until he scooped me up and sat me down on his lap. I knew I was in a relationship but let’s face it, it was over and I just wanted to feel like me again. Jo leaned in over my neck and smelled me for just a moment. He then whispered in my ear, “Are you flexible?” I’m thinking to myself “Hell no! I haven’t done yoga in 4 years, you stretch me out and I’ll stay that way!” But my mouth said “Why don’t you find out?” Next thing I know he swung my leg over and now they’re wrapped around his waist and we’re facing each other nose to nose. Our breathing begins to match each others and he says “Safety word: Bingo.” I’m thinking “F*ck the safety word!” But I reply “Okay.” We begin to kiss and it’s as passionate if not more than Rachel McAdams and Ryan Gosling in the Notebook. He slowly bites at my lips then works his way to my neck, then his lips travel to my chest and looks at me with those smoldering Latin eyes. I’m thinking I must pace myself and I can’t cheat, I can’t cheat, but hell I’m doing it now! Jo spends extra time and attention on my chest area. He pulls my top down and begins kissing my breasts slowly, making sure that both get the same amount of attention. I can feel him getting extra hard and he grabs me by the waist while he’s still giving my chest attention and I’m slowly grinding on top of him. Our breathing becomes more heavy and I’m thinking in my head “This is it, this is how I’m going to go out, a dirty bird……” Just as I’m getting lost in our passionate love session Jo pulls my top down further (It was a romper) and that’s when………………………. (cont’d Part 2)

2010
06/04
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The Awakening………..

The Awakening
There is an old Buddhist story that I’ve always loved, it goes something like this:
The student comes to Buddha and asks
“Are you the messiah?”
“No” says Buddha
Then are you a healer?”
“No” says Buddha
Are you a teacher?” asks the student
Again Buddha answers “No”
Frustrated, the student ask “Then what are you?”
Buddha answers. . . . “I am awake…”
At first when I heard this story I had no idea what the hell it meant, but after some careful soul searching this year I finally have the answer. I’m not a Buddhist but I do respect all cultures and understand the idea of being enlightened. Being awake to me means being conscious and self serving to yourself. I can look and search for the answers in other people and other things but in the end the real truth lies within myself. And trust me, it didn’t come easy getting to the conclusion and I am still learning.
After being in a unhealthy relationship for the past year and half I am finally free to be me. I’m not saying that the whole relationship was a bust and there weren’t any good times, I’m simply saying that when you’re a strong woman like myself and you spend most of the time crying than smiling in the relationship, then you need to step back and take a conscious look at you and your surroundings. I do not believe in compromising to be with someone, because if you do, you both end up losing something. Instead, I believe in accommodating one another so you both end up gaining what you want and learning new things about the other. For me though, I ended up accommodating more than I should have with the man I thought I loved while he sat and did nothing. I don’t regret it though, I appreciate the events that have occurred in my life and look at it as lessons learned. I was stressed about looking good, watched what I said as to not offend him, always put his emotions in front of mind, and sat back as he compared and contrast me to other people. I loved him. Then that love started turning into disdain. Then I started to take a conscious look at myself and surroundings and it hit me, I’m gorgeous, I’ve always beat to sound of my own drum, I’m educated, personable, and yet I was letting someone dictate how I was supposed be. That’s when I had my awakening, and had to let that relationship go. The wheels began to turn, I’m young and my life has yet to begin. I’m going to do what I used to before my past relationship, I’m going to dance on tables like no one’s watching again, I’m going to travel with or without a companion, I’m going to kiss that guy that I met next to the Potomac River just because it’s a Thursday, and I’m going to do what I want to because I am me, and I love me. Today, The District Chick is back. All my passionate encounters, laughs with sisters, personal trials, unbelievable excursions, and melodramatic vents will be documented. Sit back and enjoy the wild ride about to take place because I….am…..awake.
2010
06/04
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06/04
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