Archive for the ‘ Friendship ’ Category

Birthday Bullshit……

        I know my birthday was last month but bare with me, so much has gone on and I promise not to leave anyone in suspense anymore. So anywho, I’m a June baby and I wasn’t going to make a big deal about my day but my former “friend” had other plans. See our birthdays are a day apart and she wanted to combine days. Now I just wanted to stay at home, maybe get some birthday sex from Jo, but I said what the hell, my two cousins are coming up from N.C. that same weekend so let’s get it in. My ex friend, Jaime, dates my older cousin who is more like a big brother to me. They met two years ago when I brought her down South to a family function, fell “in love”, got that fucker to move from Atlanta to VA and the rest was historic bliss…..or so he thought until he found out the heifer had some screws loose. Don’t judge me, if I had known she would have switched up and started acting like crazy ass Ali Lauter from Obsessed when she got a man, I would have told my cousin to pump his brakes…..but I digress. Jaime has this issue where shit is never good enough. She cares what people think, she compares herself to other people, and she’s just a damn downer. I’m started to question how the hell we even got to be friends. She wanted to go eat at The Hudson on M Street in D.C. Now don’t get me wrong, I love my city, I love quality food and great atmosphere but I’m also from N.C. too. Jaime has champagne taste on a beer budget. The Hudson is lovely but I know good chicken and mashed potatoes, and for $20 I can make that shit myself. Do I have money? Of course I do, but I only feel it’s necessary to spend it on important things, like that sequin dress in French Connection in Jersey for $198 (tax-free baby). I’m thinking, all her friends are broke, why the hell would she want to have dinner at a place like this? So I suggested going to Ping Pong Dim Sum because let’s face it, she just wanted to go to The Hudson to take pictures and put them on her Facebook page like she had money anyway.  Ping Pong has the same chic atmosphere with a minimal price tag. You’d think she would want to go but she threw a bitchfit so we let her have her way. Since we all knew that the actual Birthday party was going to be shitty, my older cousin, his older brother, and our youngest cousin went out bar hopping in Adam’s Morgan the night before (you want cheap drinks in D.C., go to Adam’s Morgan). We had the best time.  Our youngest cousin, Blu, is a Marine with a “I don’t have anything to lose because I’ve been deployed 2xs and they’re sending my ass back again” attitude so you could just imagine how my night went. I spent my night, the only chick, with a bunch of dicks but it was family and it was great. The next day, was a totally different story.

    I knew it was going to hell when I was stuck in traffic on 95 on a Saturday. Halfway down, my cousin, Julio texted and said that the monster was coming out and I might not want to make it down. I’m like “fuck that,” I’m already stuck halfway down the highway in traffic, my ass is going somewhere. Finally, as I got into Virginia I got out the car to see my two cousins Julio and Noon coming outside with these shitty looks on their faces. Soon after Jamie and her best friend that no one likes followed out like I was ready to go. I’m standing in my sweats with no make up and she thinks I’m taking my ass to The Hudson. So strike number one, I had to rush myself and get ready and stuff myself in the back seat with Noon and Jaime’s friend Lynn…ugh. On the way into the city, Jaime was driving reckless as usual, my cousin Julio looked like he was at his wit’s end, my cousin Noon just wanted to get drunk, and Lynn was talking about shit that no one cared about. The only one who had some sense not to come was our youngest cousin Blu, he had to play family man and spend some QT time with his wife and child. As we’re riding I realized I forgot my damn license and Jaime with her snarky ass attitude says “Midway through our food, Julio and you can go back home so you can get your car and go home and get your license.” Now, if I live 40 min outside of D.C. why the hell would I have my cousin take me back to Virginia to get my car, drive past D.C. and go home to get my license, then go into D.C. and then go back to Virginia and sleep at their place? Is this bitch stuck on stupid? Me and Julio looked at each other and just read each others faces. As we arrived at the restaurant me and Noon set at one end of the table while Jamie and Julio set at the other end and her friends started arriving later and filling up the middle. Even without my license Noon and I downed two pitchers of this white peach infused sangria or whatever the hell it was. At the end, the tension was building between my other cousin and my “friend”. She was just being bitchy that things weren’t going her way and taking it out on him, for someone to be turning 28 like her, she needs to cut out the teenage bullshit.

                After I had finished my last drink me and Julio made our way to my house to get my I.D. card. We had a nice chat, not bashing Jamie because I don’t get down like that. Everything I’ve said about her in this blog I’ve said to her face. We get my stuff, then go to a gas station, fill her gas tank up because we took her car and he bought her chain-smoking ass a pack of cigarettes. We were literally back in the city in no time and met up with everyone at Ozio. If you like the urban atmosphere I prefer this place better than LOVE (eww), Lux Lounge (double eww) and Ibiza (yeah that shit is urban now too).  We get in and Jamie starts playing her part again. You know those chicks that pretend to be drunker than they really are when you know they’ve literally just took a sip of a drink? Well homegirl should have gotten an Academy Award for Best Actress because this chick was showing her ass. She was stumbling, she was cursing, she was turning red, she was slurring her words, her friends were falling for the bullshit, and then she snapped on my family! Julio was trying to be a concerned boyfriend and voice his concern, “What’s wrong babe?” Then this chick got cuckoo, “I’M FUCKING READY TO GO! ARE YOU FUCKING LISTENING JULIO?! I’M FUCKING DRUNK. I WANT TO GO FUCKING HOME!” I have never in my life wanted to put my hands on someone as much as that night, and it was my birthday! Noon literally had to sit on me to block me from whoopin’ her ass and then in the next breath she goes “I’m fine, we can all stay,” and then starts laughing. Julio leaves the situation, me and Noon get our drinks and leave the situation, and Jamie is there with her crazy ass friends. For the next hour we avoided each other like the plague and then ended up outside. I was talking to a gentleman from the club, Julio was outside blowing off steam and Jamie came out like nothing was wrong, and then the rest followed bringing the night to an end. As we were leaving I knew it was going to be over. My cousin is 31 and ready to settle down. He has no time for bullshit and that right there was some bullshit. The drive back to the house was long and you could feel the tension. Again, I’m in the backseat with Noon and Lynn’s crazy ass with her running her mouth about how she can’t wait to get into the guest bed when we all get back to Virginia. Now I let Jamie’s ass slide but this chick was going to get it:

“Um you’re not sleeping in the guest room. My cousin drove all the way here from N.C. He’s sleeping in the guest room.” I said

“Well someone’s sleeping there.”

“I know ho, he is. This dude is 6’5, his big ass is not sleeping on the couch.

That shit isn’t even right and you know it.” I replied

Lynn spent the rest of the night shutting the hell up and left the house when we got there. Good, the heifer needs to be home with her son anyway. The next morning, I got up and made my way back home to M.D., Noon got up and went back to N.C., and Julio was up and ready to regulate. Later that day he hit me up and let me know it was over between them, he couldn’t even wait until after her birthday for the break-up, it was that bad. So next step is that me and him are moving in with each other. The circumstances suck because I’ve lost a friend but the outcome is due to Jaime and her actions. I said in the beginning of their relationship that I wasn’t in it. I wasn’t going to change so I didn’t expect them to change and stop being my family and my friend. When she became the girlfriend she stopped treating me like a friend and started treating me like Julio’s cousin. Am I still a little pissed how things turned out, yes but as a grown up you live and you learn. My lesson is that my friends are no longer allowed to date my family and that’s how I plan to keep it. I’m cock-blocking for family now, and I’m on my job 24/7.

 

2010
07/28
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Friendship
Nightclubbing/partying
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It All Started w/ A Philly Cheesesteak…….

  

 After throwing hot coffee on Nathan’s ass I decided to take a little trip and get out of the D.M.V. Before I did though, I had to get me a little somethin’ before I left. My sis Daniella says I’m bitchy when I don’t get some “lovin” and she wasn’t spending all weekend at a hotel with me if I didn’t get my fix. So I called up Jo (of course) for some one on one and then gladly skedaddled on my way to the city of “Brotherly Love.” What made me and Daniella decide to go there when we have good friends in New York, Miami, Vegas, and Atlanta? We went to Philly because we were watching “Man vs. Food” and the inner fat children in us wanted a damn cheese steak.  Preferably from “Jim’s Steaks.” It’s about an hour and a half drive but I gotta tell you when it comes to traveling with Daniella….. I hate that bitch! She always falls asleep. Remember when Oprah and Gale went on a road trip a couple of years back??? Gayle is the party one and Oprah was the funsucking one….. Daniella is Oprah and I’m Gayle. One time we were coming back from Ibiza about 2 years ago and the heifer had the nerve to ask me if I could turn the music down so she could sleep!! I’m like “No bitch!!! Either you stay up and talk to me or I listen to music….. we both can’t fall asleep, or we’ll die!” I love her to death but we keep road trips to minimum between us. If it’s not a plane or train don’t count on holding a conversation with her, that bitch will be passed out 10 min into the trip.

   After about an hour and forty-five minutes we arrived in Jersey. Daniella has this weird ass way of waking up right when you get to a destination. That shit is just plain weird. Being observant of the people as we stepped out to move out bags into the hotel she goes “Wtf??? Are we in Jersey?” She must have noticed the white people who were so damn tan they were darker than us. Anywho, we checked in, got situated and then made our way into Philly for a cheese steak. To save the best for last, we decided to go to S.O.S. (Steaks On South Street) instead of Jim’s steaks. It was hella good. Plenty of meat, all that gooey cheese, onions that’ll make you tear up……. good shit. The first day was strictly chill, the next day would be made for partying.

    We woke up the next day to do what we always do….go shopping. Daniella and I decided to go to the local mall that was located near Mount Laurel, New Jersey. Just  picked up the basics…some “fuck me” pumps and two killer dresses at French Connection. Our intentions were to go out to the Bleu Martini on Market St. but those plans quickly changed on our way back to the hotel. We saw a sign for Atlantic City and said “fuck it” we’re here, let’s just do the damn thing. We linked up with this chick at the front desk whose friend worked at the Borgata who got us into Mixx and MurMur. I’m not going to sugarcoat it, the hotel was nice, the club was hot, but there were too many damn females up in there! I mean not only that, they were some old bitches. I need to be the focal point of shit. The main attraction, regardless of us getting V.I.P. treatment, we opted to spend our time in the casino with me looking for a sponsor…..I’m down for being an old dudes young pet….. just don’t touch me.

   We spent the remainder of the night club hopping and ended it all at the Taj Mahal. Can someone please tell me what hell is wrong with the Taj Mahal?It’s old as hell, too many old people, and the bouncers up in there think they were running shit. Oh, and the female dancers…….wowzers, I’ve seen strippers in Baltimore that look better….and that says a lot. I mean I’m not perfect but I’m damn near close….if your stomach goes over your bikini bottom, you don’t need to be on stage performing. The Taj Mahal was our que to end the night and make our way back to the hotel.

    The last day was finally the day we would eat at Jim’s Steak. We got up early because as we saw on Man vs. Food, if you don’t get there before noon there’s a line two blocks away of people just waiting to get a cheese steak. How was it? Let me tell you that was a crock of shit. Firstly, they don’t tell you that it’s cash only until you get up to the register, it was so damn hot in there you could’ve change my name to Kunte Kinte, they were stingy as hell with the meet and cheese, and it didn’t look that clean to me. It was a waste of $8 dollars and I want my god damned money back! Yeah I said it!

   All in all, the trip was fun because I spent it with my sister but let’s be real, there’s no place like my city in the District. I’d gladly trade in Jim’s Steak for Ben’s Chilli Bowl. I was walking on Philly’s South St. and thinking about Connecticut and K Street. Philly and Atlantic City nightlife is alright but they aren’t killing it like people in the District are! I’m glad to be back, plus I need to call up Jo anyway…….I’m trying to scream like a grown woman ought too…. :-)~

2010
06/10
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Friendship
Nightclubbing/partying
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Hello D.C.! I’m Back!!!!!

I once heard this great saying that described how I felt about my best friend. The saying goes: Best friends are people God forgot to make your brothers and sisters.
   Not trying to say that God f*cked up or anything, just saying the day that he created me and Daniella, he must have gotten a “little” exhausted. No worries though, our paths crossed anyway and we’ve been walking alongside each other ever since. After the George incident (we still keep in contact by the way), me and Daniella decided to jump back into the party pool since we’re now single at the exact same time. The last time we went to the club with each other was almost 6 years ago after we first graduated high school. That’s a long ass time not to be partying with your sister too! So when we decide to go out we don’t just do our “own” thing and meet later, we do “our” thing together, all damn day long. We call this thing we do the “Sister Date.” We start by getting our nails and feet done at “our” spa where the Asian ladies ask if we’re sisters because we look alike. It’s funny that we look alike because I’m a southern gal with my mother being part of the Geechee/Gullah community and my best friend is a beautiful blend of the Motherland and the Orient, it must be our cheek bones……lol.
  
 After we’ve gotten freshly manicured we make our next stop at the mall. We don’t need to buy anything, but have the means to afford it, and what me and my sister Daniella want, we get. H&M is our store, and we do major wreckage there. She picked up a sexy dress and some work pants, her style is somewhat conservative yet sexy and sleek. Daniella can look work ready professional during work hours, cocktail ready in the evenings, sweetheart demure during lunch time on the weekend, or the girl next door that’s down for anything. What’s my style? I can almost do the same thing except I like to add a little sex to into all my looks. My professional look is crisp and tailored with that “don’t come at me with bullshit” look but don’t get it twisted, I’m probably having sex with my hot boss behind closed doors. During the weekend, I like the bohemian look with big sun hats and long dresses but don’t let that fool you, I’m not wearing any underwear underneath for easy access. When we go out for cocktails my style icons are Victoria Beckham, Sophia Loren, and Zoe Saldana. I may look intimidating and to a fault, I am. No time for bullshit, I’ll probably hit on a guy before he hits on me, not out of desperation, but because I want what I want and life is too short for pussyfootin’ around. After we get some outfits for the night we go home and start pampering ourselves for the evening. We shoot to leave at 9 but don’t end up getting into the city until after 10. It’s all good though, the party doesn’t start until Daniella and I walk through the doors. 
  
 We decided to stay in Georgetown this evening, and went back to my spot Bodega for some pregaming drinks. Again, I must say get the Mojitos or the Sangrias. It’s a nice spot for good conversation and a nice drink or two. Just as I was going to settle up the tab (that’s right, these girls take turns paying the tab) at the bar this guy looks at me and greets me with an “Hola.” So, me, digging up my Spanish from high school reply the same way I was greeted. His name, Maynor and offers to buy me a drink. Now I accept this offer only if he buys my sister a drink too. That’s how we roll. You wanna get in good with one you gotta get in with other first. So he bought both of us drink and got my number out of it. After the drink, we left Bodega and started up to Modern only we noticed music bumping over at Old Glory. If you want some good wings, this is one of the top spots to get wings that blow your asshole out. I’ve met the amazing chef, Chef Richard, cool guy and the hospitality is amazing! We went in because the bouncers wanted to holler and we wanted to see the eye candy. It was alright, we got stamped so we’d be back if Modern wasn’t on point. Now, if you want to party party, then Georgetown isn’t the place for you. It’s normally packed with bars and students from Georgetown, GW and American looking to get drunk quick. So if you want to get dressed up for nightclubing leave Georgetown out of the equation. Modern is small yet hip. It’s like partying in an underground basement. On Fridays they have a password that you can use to get in free with until Midnight. The music was great but the eye candy that night was less than spectacular. A negative to Modern, it was so damn hot in there I was sweatin’ like a fat person outside of Krispy Kreme Doughnuts. Just when we were about to break down and buy our own drink (we have rule when we go out, we only buy 2 starter drinks that night, the rest of the evening we get other men to spend their money on us) we ran into this group of guys who started chatting us up. Two black guys, one Indian dude, and an older white male. The older white male won hands down in the looks department although he was probably old enough to be me and Daniella’s dad. The Indian guy approached me and wanted to introduce me to his friend, one of the black gentlemen. Now I’m not saying that I don’t like my black brothas but what annoys me is that the Indian guy just hooks us up just because we’re both black! Yeah, his friend was nice but I’m a visual being, dude looked like Dave Chappelle…..not a good look homie. Daniella made out alright though, she chatted up with the older white guy and they exchanged numbers and we got a drink out of it. Yes girl!!!!! That night I took a grenade, at least I got to drink out of it. After they chatted it up and I had a nice dance on the floor we walked back down to Old Glory to end the night. Side bar to all the ladies, if you love wearing “f*ck me pumps” walking on M Street in Georgetown is not the thing for you. We damn near broke our necks trying to get down to Old Glory. The bouncers were waiting for us to come back, they both were as big as milk duds and the light skinned one wanted my sister. Go head, girl you take that grenade! He bought me a shot and she gave him her number, I knew she didn’t want to but hey, sometimes you must take one for the team! As the night came to a close we had some fun moments and some that were a bust but what remained was that I was out with my sister and no matter where we are, we always have a bitchin’ time. With the night was almost over, you can’t end the night without getting unhealthy food at 3 in morning. We called our best male friend who was Deejaying close by, JB, to meet up with us and finish the night off with scrambled eggs, hash brown and pancakes from IHOP. Great night, now it’s time to get my rocks off and see Jo…….I’m single and I need a fix now!
2010
06/04
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Friendship
Nightclubbing/partying
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